Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
