I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
