He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
