"it" just moved
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
