me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
