I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
