nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize