i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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