I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Randomize
