porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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