is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
