Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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