Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
