You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
