i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
