Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
