The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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