they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
