i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
