I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
