So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who died my cat blue again?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
