she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
