Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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