Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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