I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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