He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
