On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
