Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
