I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Randomize