the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
