all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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