im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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