I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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