you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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