My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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