Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
