i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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