Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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