new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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