why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
