the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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