What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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