I skipped work to stalk him.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
