my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
