Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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