Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
