escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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