It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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