Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
