Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
