i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
