youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
