it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
