I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
