remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Small penises have feelings too.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
