I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
