she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
