Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
