I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
