Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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