My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize