I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
