Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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